10DPIUI...BLAH

So today is 10DPIUI. I was doing terrific with my TWW up until yesterday. Yesterday, I started the googling and even tested. Now, I know 9DPIUI is very early but no matter what, every time I pee on a stick I always hold my breath and imagine those two glorious lines coming up.

Well they didn't. So yeah. That sucked. It was an internet cheapie test but I literally didn't see anything. I tried to make myself see something, and once or twice I even thought I did but I am pretty confident it was all in my head.

Here is the test...

See anything?? Yeah me neither :( 

So I tested again this morning with a First Response (FRER). That's right, I pulled out the big guns. It was my last FRER in my drawer so it had to work right?? I have lower back pain, my boobs hurt on and off, last night as I was wrapping presents I kept getting waves of nausea. I was so sure it would work. I woke up at 5AM because I had to pee and figured well here goes nothing! First morning urine is supposed to be the best!

Here is the test....

My FRER! WAH :( Feel like I wasted it

So here I am...sitting here....analyzing...googling....symptom spotting...feeling depressed. I know I am still early but I honestly thought that I would see even the faintest of faintest squinter by now. 

Next cycle, assuming this one doesn't work, we are supposed to start injectables. Now I don't understand anything about them. I just know that I need to have them at my house right away as soon as my cycle starts. Now this leads me to another predicament in which I will most likely over analyze. I will probably start my period early next week. Well Christmas is next week! The pharmacy ships the drugs out to you overnight. But what if they are closed on Christmas? Should I call now and just bite the bullet and pay for the drugs even though there's a chance I may not need them? Oh, why can nothing be easy? 

Guess that's life for ya. 

So Happy freaking Tuesday...blahhhh